Chair Shots With Killem Faulkner: All Out Go-Home Dynamite

Coming off its historic All In show at Wembley Stadium in London, AEW looked to reset and look ahead this week as it began…I’m just kidding, they had one show to cobble together another pay-per-view card. Yup, All Out, which historically has been one of the company’s biggest shows, is instead forced to content itself with the scraps from a much higher-profile show just one week before. With two new champions (well, three if you count Ring of Honor) being crowned in jolly ol’ England and a few storylines with meat still left on their bones, was AEW able to craft a show capable of whipping up excitement for this weekend’s Chicago show?

Best Match of the Night

To answer my question from the introduction in a single word: Nope! Unless you already have plans to be in Chicago for All Out or pre-ordered the show on pay-per-view for some reason, I wouldn’t blame you at all if you decided to skip it entirely. Look, I’m sure as soon as AEW realized they could run a show at Wembley, they sprang into action to find the best weekend available and locked it down right away regardless of what else they had scheduled. I’m also sure they considered the feasibility of rescheduling All Out so that it wouldn’t be a mere week later, but they obviously decided against it for a litany of valid reasons. So I completely understand how we got to this point where AEW has to run two major shows in the same week, and I’m sure they’ll schedule it better next year so the Wembley show is better spaced out on the pay-per-view calendar. However, that does not mean that the build to this year’s All Out has been remotely acceptable for a show that they will be charging money for. As of this writing, there are still hundreds of tickets available for All Out, and I’m not surprised in the slightest. Heck, I live within easy driving distance of Chicago and even I’m not going to take them up on this opportunity. Sure, I’m probably still going to watch it from home because there figure to be some matches worth seeing, but this is by no means a pay-per-view quality show, nor is it must-see for any but the most die-hard of fans.

Those are Sunday problems for Sunday’s show, though. What about the in-ring action on this Wednesday’s show? Well, the good news is that there were at least two good matches worth talking about. Wheeler Yuta vs. Eddie Kingston for some New Japan title that maybe 1% of AEW’s fandom knew about was a pretty good match even though the unnecessary title stipulation made the outcome inevitable. Like, I get that Eddie Kingston’s whole gimmick is that he doesn’t care about things like titles so he never carries around the *checks notes* Strong Openweight Championship (sounds made up), but then why have him defend it on AEW programming? He doesn’t care about defending it, Yuta doesn’t care about winning it, and the audience doesn’t care about who’s holding it after all is said and done. (Dang, this article is skewing pretty negative already and hang onto your hats because *spoiler alert* it’s going to get more negative before we’re through.) Besides that relatively minor issue, however, there wasn’t much to complain about with this match. Yuta has proved his toughness countless times during his affiliation with the Blackpool Combat Club, and Kingston’s bona fides as a brawler are already well established. Kingston sold an arm injury throughout the match, which Yuta targeted with sadistic precision, but the power game of the *checks notes* champion (yes, apparently Eddie Kingston *is* a champion in NJPW, as unbelievable as that sounds) was too much for the younger challenger, though it did take two spinning backfists to put him down in the end. Claudio Castagnoli emerged post-match to scrape Yuta off the floor and help him to the back all while assiduously ignoring Kingston, who in the spirit of comradery inspired by his recent trip to the UK, was presumably inviting the Swiss star over for a nice spot of tea. It may have sounded to the untrained ear that Kingston was challenging Castagnoli to a fight, but you have to remember that in Kingston’s Brooklyn accent, everything he says sounds like a challenge to a fight.

The best match of the night should come as no surprise. Orange Cassidy has been putting on matches of the night basically ever since he became All-Atlantic International Champion, so putting him in the main event against Penta Oscuro for the right to settle their issues against Jon Moxley at All Out was a recipe for another match of the night contender, and it lived up to that expectation. Penta arguably has the greater claim to want to fight Mox – Best Friends’ recent parking lot brawl that ended with Sue’s beloved minivan (RIP) being destroyed by the BCC pales in comparison to the attempted murder of Rey Fenix last week. Unfortunately, he who holds the gold makes the rules, so Penta would have needed to win the International Championship to earn that right. Even though Mox has never expressed any interest in winning that title. Them’s the rules! …For some reason. Slightly convoluted setup aside, this was a seriously good match between two wrestlers who are no stranger to the sillier side of wrestling. Penta did his usual “Cero Miedo” hand gesture straight into OC’s face, and the champ responded by trying to put his hands into his pockets, but Penta blocked him from doing so because Penta knows those pockets are full of wrestling power and allowing him to get his hands in there makes him an unstoppable tornado of pure wrestling skill. Or something like that. OC did manage to get his hands in his pockets a couple of times throughout the match, once as an ingenious way of blocking Penta’s arm snapper, and he fired back with the Palm Strikes of Doom in another very silly spot. The two men traded Canadian destroyers at one point, which was so absurd and ridiculous that it kind of worked despite the near complete no-sell from both. Freshly Squeezed managed to win by rollup, which is never really ideal but at least makes sense given the mounting list of “injuries” he’s suffered during his long title reign. The champ’s post-match promo probably should be considered for moment of the night too, but I have pretty much never awarded best match and best moment to the same segment. I actually can’t remember ever doing such a thing, but I have been writing weekly reviews for quite a while now and I almost never pay attention to what I wrote as soon as I finish writing it. Who needs to remember this dreck anyway? I have better things to devote my mental faculties to, like remembering important phone numbers and… uh… astrophysics and stuff. Anyway, Cassidy’s post-match promo was the typical “you better be careful what you ask for because I’m gonna give it to you” rhetoric filtered through the King of Sloth Style’s trademark laziness, punctuated by his closing line of “I’m Freshly Squeezed Orange Cassidy and I do not have a catchphrase!” Classic. Penta losing is kind of a shame if only because, like I said, he has a better reason to want to fight Moxley. Oh, and he’s also Mexican. As in not American. Because nothing says “International” like having an American champion who mostly defends it against other Americans. But to be fair, Cassidy has been great as champion and it kind of doesn’t matter. His title defense against Mox on Sunday should be great, just like his match with Penta was here.

Best Moment of the Night

There weren’t a ton of great non-wrestling segments this week either. It’s really hard to make such a transparently hard pivot feel compelling. Yes, they could still somewhat acknowledge what happened at All In for the feuds that will spawn from the events of that show, but it’s way too obvious when someone is like “I hate you now apparently” with less than a week before a pay-per-view. With everything feeling rushed, basically all of the promo segments were on a similar if not entirely even footing. Toni Storm‘s promo this week was excellent, as her new character direction in recent weeks has been overall. Basically she’s an overly melodramatic golden era Hollywood-esque character, and this week her rant focused on how she can no longer trust her fellow Outcasts Ruby Soho and Saraya. It was a short segment, but the whole gimmick is so self-aware and ridiculous that it ended up being way more entertaining than it could have been in another performer’s hands. Plus it has to be said that Renee Paquette contributed to the segment in a subtle but amazing way when Toni said All In “went t!ts up” and Renee glanced down at her chest. I’m not sure how or if this Outcasts storyline will play into All Out, but its impact on Storm has at least been entertaining up to this point.

Chris Jericho and Sammy Guevara‘s face-to-face segment was also pretty entertaining even if we probably won’t see anything related to it on the All Out card. Sammy came to his mentor’s aid at All In, but Jericho failed to get the win and pushed him aside in frustration post-match. Jericho called out the last remaining Jericho Appreciation Society member to apologize for taking his disappointment in losing out on the guy who was only trying to help him, but it very quickly became clear that things aren’t entirely hunky-dory between them as Jericho said there were a number of things that could have gone better like if Guevara had hit Will Ospreay harder with the bat. Sammy retorted that maybe if he hadn’t been so willing to leave his pregnant wife at home to have Jericho’s back, maybe he could have had a match of his own at All In. They traded jabs back and forth that I assume were meant to evoke “ooh”s and “ah”s and “aw snap”s from the crowd but felt fairly tame to me before Jericho suggested they should stop before one of them said something they’d really regret. Instead, he offered to re-form Le Sex Gods (which has always bothered me as someone who studied French in school – the proper name should be Les Sex Gods since it is plural) next week to chase the tag titles together, which Sammy accepted. As I’ve suggested before, it seems like the end game of this whole scenario is Jericho turning heel on Sammy and igniting a feud between them, which should make for a good storyline. I’m a little concerned that they’re already not even really trying to pretend Jericho is a babyface anymore, but then again Sammy didn’t come across as a particularly nice guy in this segment either. (His backstage confrontation with Don Callis later in the show was much more effective in that regard.) Still, all the basic elements are there for a good story – both men want to salvage their friendship, just in different ways and for different reasons, and eventually they are going to realize that and come to blows over it. Jericho wants Sammy to fall in line like he always has, while Sammy is tired of being taken for granted and pushed around. The motivations are clear to everyone except themselves, and their partnership will continue to be a powderkeg of unacknowledged resentment until it finally explodes in glorious violence.

The best segment of the night was Roderick Strong and The Kingdom calling out Adam Cole over his friendship with MJF and seemingly pushing them to the side in the past. I am always disappointed when Roddy makes an appearance without getting his entrance theme (which is “The End of Heartache” by Killswitch Engage, in case you forgot) but I get that he was interrupting Cole so it made more sense for him to come out unannounced. Also maybe AEW is regretting all the music they’ve licensed for their wrestlers recently, as I speculated about with regard to Ruby Soho last week. Anyway, I was immediately less disappointed when Strong asked “Is my neck health not important to you?” Which is an objectively hilarious question. Imagine the greatest promo artist of all time, whoever you consider that to be, and I’d wager to guess that it would be funny coming from them too. Mike Bennett reminded Cole of all the times they’ve shared together, signing with Ring of Honor, Cole being part of his wedding and planning his bachelor party, and supporting each other on the road. Matt Taven accused Cole of using The Kingdom to elevate him to the top of Ring of Honor then jumping ship to New Japan to leech off of Bullet Club’s merch sales only to jump ship again to NXT where he used the Undisputed Era to get himself over again. He asked if Cole really expected anyone to believe that he’s changed now because he’s just using MJF to get a shot at the AEW title. Cole offered a fairly mild defense, saying he was sorry if they felt that he had used them but MJF is his best friend now. (Pro tip, kids: If your apology is “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry if I offended you” rather than “I’m sorry for my behavior” or “I’m sorry for not considering how I was affecting you” it isn’t really a sincere apology.) Roddy vowed to enter the Grand Slam Tournament to get a shot at MJF and prove that he’s a “wrestling legend” but Cole tried to dissuade him due to the aforementioned neck issue. Strong mocked his concern and The Kingdom walked out leaving Cole alone in the ring. This was a strong segment because although they’ve implied a backstory between these four guys, we’ve never had it spelled out like this, and especially Taven’s points about how Cole has never really done things by himself seem valid when laid out like that. I always feel like a heel with some justification, even if they are ultimately wrong to be so distrustful or judgmental, is more effective than a mustache-twirling bad guy who chooses to be evil seemingly just for the fun of it. I do feel bad that Strong has turned into such a joke character because he is a legit wrestler, but at least his current role is keeping him on TV regularly. There’s still a degree of uncertainty about how this entire angle will play out, which is good because it keeps the audience guessing, but I hope a clearer direction emerges soon whether it’s Taven and Bennett challenging for the RoH tag titles or if Cole, Strong, and MJF come into greater conflict where Cole will be forced to choose between his two closest friends. For now, however, this storyline is still working well enough to justify stretching it out a bit longer.

Worst Matches/Moments of the Night

The entire build to All Out has been the worst. No specific matches or moments stood out above the pointlessness of having two pay-per-views in consecutive weeks. Good luck investing in what’s happening on Sunday after what happened last Sunday. I already laid out why this happened so this isn’t sour grapes on my part, but that doesn’t change reality.

Parting Shots

• Instead of doing the usual Collision tidbit, I’m going to do something I’ve never done before in this segment: issue a challenge. No, not like Awesome used to challenge Disco Inferno to meet him in a dark alley back in our podcasting days. Instead, I want to issue a challenge to one of my all-time favorite wrestlers, one of the biggest reasons I’m still into wrestling now after nearly giving up on the hobby back in 2011 or so, and someone who I still consider must-see TV in 2023. CM Punk, I want to challenge you to go an entire month without causing some sort of extracurricular drama. That’s right, 30-plus days with no altercations, confrontations, arguments, dust-ups, fistfights, or brouhahas. I am absolutely sick to death of reading all these headlines and seeing these clickbaity “CM Punk is DONE with AEW” or “AEW MUST FIRE PUNK NOW!!!1!” video titles on Youtube. (I say headlines and video titles because I’m so not interested in reading or watching any of this nonsense, but the mere existence of these stories is tiresome enough that it needs to stop.) And understand, Mr. Punk sir, I don’t care if the Bucks or Jericho are leaking stories to Meltzer trying to make you out to be the villain or whatever it is that you believe. The fact of the matter is, you won. Let’s face facts: you have everything you could possibly have asked for. AEW gave you your own little fiefdom on Saturday nights with your own cosplay “real” world title to lord over all the peasants. They’ll probably let you keep deciding when and where and how and against whom you wrestle, and they’ll probably even let you hand-pick whoever wins that personalized belt off your shoulder, if you ever decide to let it go. (I know you have trouble letting things go sometimes.) In the meantime, AEW will keep putting up with the needless headaches you keep causing them with your pettiness and your fragile ego while paying you huge sacks of money for diminishing attendance and merch sales. Tell me when I’m telling lies. I’m just asking you to consider…not. Like the next time you have the option of sticking your nose into something that doesn’t really concern you, just don’t. The next time you think about taking an AEW microphone in your hand and firing an unprompted shot at someone who isn’t even allowed on “your” show, just don’t. And the next time you feel like throwing your weight around backstage because you think being some alpha male douche makes you a respected locker room leader, just don’t. In return, I’ll keep wearing my closet full of CM Punk shirts and trying to focus on how much I appreciate your stance on reproductive rights and support for the LGBTQ+ community. Oh, and your objectively correct sports opinions. Sorry for the rant, but I feel like it’s time for some tough love and I figure someone as outspoken as yourself can appreciate that. We’ll see how you’re doing by October 1st – hopefully you can keep up the good behavior even longer than that, but it would be a start anyway.
• The trios titles are pink now with little scissors at either end of the belts, and The Acclaimed will defend them on free TV this Saturday instead of on the pay-per-view that desperately needs matches. To be fair, it’s entirely possible that they squash some jobbers on Collision only for the House of Black to challenge them to a rematch at All Out.
• I’m going to give my All Out predictions the importance and gravitas they deserve:
  • Kris Statlander will retain her TBS Championship against Ruby Soho
  • Orange Cassidy will somehow find a way to retain his International Championship against Jon Moxley
  • MJF will not lose his AEW World Championship (because he’s not defending it, you see)
  • Shane Taylor will be there, which is cool, but he’s going to lose, which is not cool, though it will be to Samoa Joe, who is also cool
  • Some other stuff will happen, probably

That’s it for another week – I think AEW did a decent job in an impossible situation, but there was just no way this show was ever going to be good. I hope All Out delivers in spite of the problems with its build, and I hope next week starts things fresh as AEW builds towards the newly announced Wrestle Dream and Full Gear in November. Thanks for joining me once again, and I hope to see you back here next week for more Chair Shots!